Lyme Blog

I just woke up and wanted to capture here the anxiety I am feeling. I am tired of using the word anxiety and have looked in Roget's Thesaurus to expand my Lyme limited vocabulary. I find more appropriate words: terror, fright, distress, dread, apprehension, unease, agitated, concern.

For me, the anxiety and fear appear first. The emotions are the proverbial chicken. I wake and my body exudes fright and apprehension. I pray Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha but I allow the chicken to graze in my psyche. Then, I cannot help myself. The chicken does not have to look or peck around for sustenance. Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha. It is me who feeds the emotions grain.

I rationalize the emotions by searching for examples in my life which should be anxiety provoking. With increased terror, I continue praying Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha. The apprehension in getting up out of bed is there.

At least I am at my sister's and not alone. Who else is in the house? Can I make some phone calls? I must meditate first. Where do I have to go? Who do I have to be? I did not brng enough supplements for this extended visit. What about my employer? What are they thinking? How can I show up in an office in this state? How can I complete tasks for other people? The proverbial egg has been laid.

Thinking Thich Nhat Hanh. Breathing In: I know I am breathing In Breathing Out: I know I am breathing Out. Will it hatch again?