Lyme Blog

Have been at home with my family. Drove here with a vengeance a few days ago. I hit a wall with Herxing. Lots of fear. Plain scared. Did not want to be in my apartment alone. Drove here as fast as I could.

It was such a demoralizing blow after feeling well for a week or so. The good news, today, is that I can now see what is me and what is the Lyme or the Babesia. Before feeling well, it was murky. I was the Lyme and the Lyme was me. It was part of my constitution for decades...my psyche.

It had been with me for years and years. The self loathing; the anger; the nasty back talk to myself. Once I felt better, I felt light and rays of sunshine peeking into those dark years of my existence.

When I had the Herx where I hit my living room wall with my face and elbows and cried all over the blue paint, I could see the Lyme around me. I prepapred myself for battle in a way I had never done.

I knew that any internal strife would have to be subdued. I had to have a unified front against the bacteria moving back in.

All of my sensory field feel inflamed. Sight. Hearing. Feeling. A penny dropping on the floor resounds over and over.

Sore tailbone. Flu like symptoms. Jaw soreness. General malaise and crankiness.

It is 4 AM and here are my new symptoms. Being up at 4 AM. It has been 10 days since I stopped Tindamax. I feel foul. I am so angry at this illness. Not one of my days of gratitutde. IV rocephin for 5 months and this is it?

I am so angry at this illness. It coarses through my veins and today, for the first time, I do not want peaceful co-existence. I want to obliterate it.

I have been so focused on getting the cat's claw and andrographis every day that I have forgotten the St. John's Wart.

How could that have happened? Rather easily when there are 20 + bottles to manage.

Is that tipping the scales for me? I do not know. I am out of town and do not have that bottle with me. Just riding it out. Will run out to buy some tomorrow.

Wow - for exactly one week I felt great. Just puttering about, running small errands and doing a little of this and that. Coming off the Tindamax and taking a break was a good LLMD idea.

Yesterday evening as I was sitting on my couch, I could see from my window that the FEAR was driving around the corner and pulling into my driveway. I knew the fear was here. The fear just sat out there in the cold and did not come into the house.

I knew it was only a matter of time.

When I woke up this AM, the fear was in my bed. It was 6AM. I knew the fear would just mock and make faces at me so I took a second Benadryl, something I never do. The full on herxes were there too...in the neck and the base of the skull. I slept pretty well for the next 4 hours. Each time I woke, the fear told me things to be scraed of.

I tried not to listen. I responded "You are part and parcel of the Babesia." "Stop trying to intimidate me." "I will feel happy, joyous and free once again, just not right now."

I got up and made some phone calls, including my LLMD, to see what the next step will be. Mepron and Artemisia? I took a Theanine to find calm.

I stood at the window when I woke up this morning. I felt the cold and whiteness of the day. Fear. I remember that I do not feel this way when I am walking along an icy pond.

I stopped the Tindamax last week, per my LLMD's recommendation. I feel GREAT in that aspect. Much less fear and anxiety.

I will speak to my doc today and see if he wants me to begin the Mepron and Artemisia tincture as he suggested.

I forgot to mention that my old Herxes are coming back since stopping the Tindamax- the tailbone pain, right hand numbness and big toe soreness.

I also joined Eurolyme in an effort to learn how things are in Europe.

I feel great after stopping the Tindamax this week. Today was a great day, even though I had to do taxes. I guess I was flaring and herxing - all the grief, fear and anxiety.

The achiness in my tailbone and numbness in my right has returned since stopping the Tindamax. My neck has not hurt in a couple of months.

I will call my LLMD next week and see if he still wants to get on the Mepron and Artemisia tincture.

I joined EuroLyme to see what is happening on that front.

Yes, I have become irritable and fearful these past days. It is my fifth month of IV Rocephin. Nothing that exciting is happening. I am not regressing though.

I have begun Dr. Buhner's protocol. I want to begin Artemisin because I feel there is Babesia lurking even though I got two negatives from IGenex. The fear and anxiety is ever present. I have bruising and creaking of the joints.

MY PROTOCOL:
Tindamax 500 mg AM & PM M-W-F

Diflucan 200 mg PM

IV Rocephin 1 gm AM & PM

Benedryl 25 gm Every PM

Beta Sitosterol 200mg AM & PM

Sarsaparilla 1 dropperful every AM

Engystol 300 mg Every AM

Marrow Plus 3 tabs between meals twice

10 Mushroom Combo 2 tabs between meals twice

Liver Balance Plus 2 tabs AM

Adrenal Essence 1 tab AM

Adrenal Support 1 tab AM

Travacor Neurotransmitter Support 3 tabs AM

Andrographis 4 tabs (1200 mg Andro & 240 mg Eulethro Root Extract) AM

Cat’s Claw 4 gms AM

Noni 2 gms AM

St. John’s Wort 1.5 gms AM

Gingko Biloba 300 mgs AM

Probiotic 3.4 billion AM

L-Carnitine 1.5 gms AM

DHEA 25 mg AM

TOTAL EFA 3-6-9 oils every other day 1.5 tbsp

Alpha Linolenic Acid 5800 mg

Gamma Linolenic Acid 290 mg

Linolenic Acid 2300 mg

Oleic Acid 1700 mg

Phoscol 3 gm (in 1 tsp) 1 tbsp every other day

Selenium 250 mcg PM

Vit B-6 50 mg PM

Pantothenic Acid 500 mg PM

Vit D 700 IU PM

Lysine 3 gm PM

Magnesium 1 g PM

Calcium 1 gm PM

CoQ10 30 mg PM

Vit C 2 gm PM

Coffee Enemas 3 times per week

Charcoal daily **Cell Food every day Theannine as needed

Oh, how this spirit blows. It can scare me. The Tindamax has me in tears at times. I checked it out with fellow Lyme patients and it can cause this.

See http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi and search for Tindamax under Medical Questions.

I have added so many new things to my protocol.

To boost my cd57:
Ten Mushroom Combo
Marrow Plus

To give adrenals a rest for the next few motnhs:
Cortef
DHEA
B-6
B-5 Pantothetic Acid

Dr. Buhner's Protocol
Andrographis
Cat's Claw
Vitamin C
Selenium
Noni