Thursday, December 28, 2006
How can I describe the Fear?
The fear is related to something which is other than me. I, in my body and mind, am okay. The fear is somehow linked to an expectation of what is to be done. The fear is a lack of trust in the universe, a god or the buddhas. The fear is a manifestation of the negative belief that I am not safe. The fear beckons me to saunter into a survival mode. "Find this out. Accomplish that. Distract, distract, distract. And I will dissipate". If I do not comply, the fear will walk me into another neighborhood and whisper "you must recognize the stone buildings and the brick sidewalks, this is failure".
The fear says "your apartment has been empty for 12 days", "you are alone there...what kind of life is that?", "you are going to have to return to work soon, how will you ever get there every morning with a flat tire on your bike?" and "do you really think this is Lyme?"
Its voice gets louder and more severe "how did you ever keep a life together?" "You won't bask in the sunshine of your Sicilian dreams and fall asleep on a rock while the cattle graze, ever again. You will die in the indecision of whether to raise the heat up to 65 degrees in the dankness of a globally warmed winter."
"How can this be Lyme my dear? This is who you are".
The fear says "your apartment has been empty for 12 days", "you are alone there...what kind of life is that?", "you are going to have to return to work soon, how will you ever get there every morning with a flat tire on your bike?" and "do you really think this is Lyme?"
Its voice gets louder and more severe "how did you ever keep a life together?" "You won't bask in the sunshine of your Sicilian dreams and fall asleep on a rock while the cattle graze, ever again. You will die in the indecision of whether to raise the heat up to 65 degrees in the dankness of a globally warmed winter."
"How can this be Lyme my dear? This is who you are".
# posted by Lala @ 6:17 AM 
